There's a strong possibility that you've read me complaining about the school sports day that occurs every September.  I'm sure you think I'm whinging over nothing as an afternoon of sprints and relays is nothing.  However, the sports day in Japanese schools is taken exceptionally seriously... well, by the P.E teacher who is in charge of it anyway.  The whole month of September is saturated with afternoon practices and more often than not it is the English class that gets booted out the curriculum.  The worst thing is that it is always held on a Saturday or Sunday so that weekend is pretty much written off for most JETs.  However, the real crime committed by this celebration of physical activity is that some sports day are held on a national holiday.  Indeed, this is usually a Monday so any plans for a long weekend trip are subsequently wrecked as well.  The day itself starts from about 9am and doesn't finish until about 3-4pm.  This year there were 23 events.  The opening and closing ceremonies go on forever as well.  All the students walk about marching, waving flags and then warm up to Celine Dion music.  Sports day is a living hell.

I usually spend most of the day under the teacher's tent sitting in a terribly old chair next to some terribly old people.  However, I just couldn't handle another day of such a soul-crushing atmosphere so I wandered around the outside of grounds and talked to some primary school kids and their grandparents.  Despite the event being on a Sunday a small majority of the student's parents don't bother their arse to show up.  This means that I've often been asked to participate in some joint parent/student events in the previous years.  However, in the past two years I've always had to do the three-legged race with some kid half my height and double my weight.  I wasn't really in the mood for smashing my face into the dusty ground again so I wore my sandals and hid under a tree all morning and let the other teachers fill the gap.  As is the case with most town events, I am persistently asked to come along but then I am subsequently ignored by everyone when I get there.  I sat in the teacher's tent for two hours and not one person said a word to me the whole time.  The only person who approached me that day was a bloke from Cambodia.  He actually startled me to begin with and I thought he was just a bit of a mental local.  I hate to say it but the majority of people who approach me to communicate in Kochi (and Japan I guess) can be a little bit eccentric.  It's better than nothing though so I can't really complain.  Anyway, he spoke about two or three words of English and I knew straight away that he wasn't Japanese as he was far too good.  Also, I have obviously met fluent English speakers in Japan but they tend to retain their Japanese accent or sound American (I always prefer the former).  I had a very enjoyable conversation with him and we alternated between English and Japanese which was quite an interesting situation to be in.  He had studied Japanese for two years in Cambodia and was now on a three month home stay in Tano.  I gave him my phone number in case he needed any help with anything in the future or if he wanted to hang out.  Now, I often rant about what's wrong with Japan and the like but I take no joy in saying that it is the most normal conversation I have had with anyone in Tano.  There is just something forever present in the Japanese mind that means they struggle to communicate with a foreigner.  I don't exactly know what it is but it appears to be a mixture of them getting flustered/nervous at the prospect or even taking the condescending view that a gaijin and a Japanese can't possibly communicate.  There's also an ever present barrier in the middle of the conversation that the Japanese person uses to make sure both parties know exactly that they are different people.  I don't know... in a few minutes I was talking to the Cambodian about normal things that didn't involve bringing up the differences in our nationalities.  It's sad to say that I've only rarely felt like that in any of my offices or schools.  I've met a few friends who have managed to drop the "gaiin elephant in the room" attitude but the majority of them introduce themselves under such an umbrella.  I'm sure there are other foreigners living in Japan who disagree but these are my feelings regarding my time in Kochi.

I returned in the afternoon with a flask of gin and tonic.  I decided that the previous three years of being a responsible ALT at such events was enough service to the JET cause.  I wanted to have a relaxing time since it was a Sunday and I still had three hours to sit in the baking sun feigning interest and excitement.  Therefore, I sat on a log under a tree and preceded to drink the best tasting drink I've ever had.  I think I was feeling a bit drunk so I went and got some fureido poteto and ended up buying about ten bags for all the first grade kids at primary school.  It was the best sports day I've ever been to.  I left before the cleaning up was due to start which felt good.  The question is... how many Japanese people does it take to take down a tent?  The answer is twelve.

I have been living in Kochi for over 3 years now.  One of my favourite things about Shikoku is the raw nature it provides.  I never get tired watching the changing colours of the sky, mountains and ocean.  This is far from the most spectacular view I have seen in my town but it took me by surprise as I walked quickly to buy some Red Bull and a salmon rice ball before studying and teaching my adult English class.  I talked to my German couchsurfer for about ten minutes yesterday but she passed out before I got home from my work.  She was very nice though and wrote me a note apologising for sleeping and said she hadn't been in such a relaxed environment for a week or so.  She'd been walking about 30-40km a day or something.

Also, the title just says 'Kochi's Volcano' and I only did it in Japanese in the hope that some Japanese person types it into google one day and stumbles across my racist ranting.

Good evening.  I'm going to try and update my blog every day from now on.  Sadly, that means they'll be more of these stupid posts like everyone else does who has a blog.  I'm more of a fan of going on a long rant once every few weeks.  Nevertheless, I give you two adverts that amused me in the past week.

 It seems apparent that models are treated harshly in Japan.  Those girls are freezing in that photo studio.

"I'll have a whisky and an ice-cream please for I am an older and therefore wise Japanese man."

There's not much to say about these other than I have my doubts over the authenticity of that bite out of the parm.  They're both very standard adverts for products in Japan.  The Japanese lassies are looking sultry and sexy as they attempt to sell shampoo, shaving cream for their arms or glue for their eyelids.  The silver haired alpha male is another classic used in promotions for more manlier products such as bitter canned coffee, pisswater Suntory whisky and a marker pen for their bald spot.  

Since I got back from Australia last week I've been sweating constantly and it occasionally feels like I've just jumped into a swimming pool.  I read this week that it has been the hottest summer in Japan for about 120 years.  In the same article I read about hundreds of thousands of Japanese going to hospital because of heatstroke.  There appeared to be a considerable jump in the figures from the first day of September.  I'm going to tell you why this was the case with a wild yet accurate assumption.  Did you know that the first day of September is autumn?  Maybe you did.  I don't even remember how our seasons breakdown at home anymore.  Anyway, most people in the rest of the world will have similar "official" days but only people who make calendars would give any attention to them.  However, people in Japan tend to take these changes with a serious approach.  The first dawn of the ninth month means that summer clothes must now be replaced by autumn ones.  Indeed, in some prefectures it may even be the designated day that the air conditioning is switched off.  Yes, I'm afraid to say that this is the life that about 130 million people follow.  "The clothes you wear are not dependent on the weather.  It's September!  It's time to wear long sleeves for goodness sake!  I suppose we can make an exception in your case, what with all that barbarian fur on your arms.  The air conditioning should not be related to the actual temperature in the room you moron.  Don't you know the government pays important people to work out the days we need it?"  


Therefore, there is a nation of conformist and traditionalist fools roasting alive in their homes and offices whilst the drones on television advise the nation to drink lots of green tea (a diuretic) and eat umeboshi (dried plums) to fend off the heat.  Of course, we can't forget the poor students of every school in the country who must practice themselves into oblivion for sports day this weekend.  I could go on a rant about the stupidity of the marching and flag waving and non-sports and the removal of any guessing of who will win the race after 20 practices but I'll focus on this small fact.  It has been around 37-39 degrees in a lot of Japan this week and these kids are expected to run about during the hottest part of the day... everyday.... with only flasks and flasks of green tea to hydrate them.  Keep up the good work 日本.  Here are some pictures of my turtles.  I took better ones but I forget to upload them.  You can't see the wonder of my new tank.  Also, I forgot to mention that catalyst in the writing of this post was an experience with a mukade in the shower.  I just started to wash my face when I felt a quick scuttle brush by my toes.  I absolutely collapsed and my whole body became nothing more than a shell of fear.  That was until I jumped backwards and nearly broke my bloody neck.  I killed it with boiling water and it made me angry enough to sit down at my desk.  Goodnight.

Greetings.  I don't like to address and open blogposts with the admission of a being absent for a period of time.  However, I've been away from a computer for about two weeks or so at a JET conference and then my holiday in Australia.  Both were fun.  Both have taken it out of me.  I was planning to update this as well as clean, wash, clean... study mountains of Japanese homework... but at the moment I feel a bit like this.  I'll try and upgrade the blog with numerous bells and whistles in a week or two.  Cheerio for now.