Friday, 10 September 2010

PostHeaderIcon Hotto Hotto Samma

There are times when the weight of expectation... or assumed expectation... to update this blog gets too much for me to handle and I force myself to sit down and update.  I feel like I've had no spare time to ponder or complain about something recently.  The majority of people would see this as a positive thing in everyday life but my angst is the precious fuel that I burn into these glorious words.  If the truth be told, I've sat down and started a new post numerous times only to suffer what I imagine is writer's block.  I even begin to get nervous that I've forgotten how to write and start to get paranoid over my terrible grammar and spelling mistakes.  Nevertheless, I've been trying to accomplish things this week after a period of lethargic contentedness.  That has mostly been consigned to cleaning and washing clothes which is a surprisingly long and exhausting procedure in my humid, Japanese mansion from dusty hell.  The worst task is easily cleaning the turtle tank out.  Actually, I don't think I've ever mentioned them on my blog since I got them with Naomi last year.  They're called Alba and Éire after our respected countries.  My one is  a moody little bugger who leaps off his rock into the water when he hears the slightest noise.  Anyway, they've been growing at an alarming rate which means I've had to make them a new tank out of a massive plastic storage box.  I did a pretty good job at it if you ask me.  I might try and make building pet homes my new profession when I return home to the dark despair of the dole queue.  Well, that sweaty face is indeed my own and is a result of cleaning out the tank at 6pm with the air conditioning on.  

Since I got back from Australia last week I've been sweating constantly and it occasionally feels like I've just jumped into a swimming pool.  I read this week that it has been the hottest summer in Japan for about 120 years.  In the same article I read about hundreds of thousands of Japanese going to hospital because of heatstroke.  There appeared to be a considerable jump in the figures from the first day of September.  I'm going to tell you why this was the case with a wild yet accurate assumption.  Did you know that the first day of September is autumn?  Maybe you did.  I don't even remember how our seasons breakdown at home anymore.  Anyway, most people in the rest of the world will have similar "official" days but only people who make calendars would give any attention to them.  However, people in Japan tend to take these changes with a serious approach.  The first dawn of the ninth month means that summer clothes must now be replaced by autumn ones.  Indeed, in some prefectures it may even be the designated day that the air conditioning is switched off.  Yes, I'm afraid to say that this is the life that about 130 million people follow.  "The clothes you wear are not dependent on the weather.  It's September!  It's time to wear long sleeves for goodness sake!  I suppose we can make an exception in your case, what with all that barbarian fur on your arms.  The air conditioning should not be related to the actual temperature in the room you moron.  Don't you know the government pays important people to work out the days we need it?"  

Therefore, there is a nation of conformist and traditionalist fools roasting alive in their homes and offices whilst the drones on television advise the nation to drink lots of green tea (a diuretic) and eat umeboshi (dried plums) to fend off the heat.  Of course, we can't forget the poor students of every school in the country who must practice themselves into oblivion for sports day this weekend.  I could go on a rant about the stupidity of the marching and flag waving and non-sports and the removal of any guessing of who will win the race after 20 practices but I'll focus on this small fact.  It has been around 37-39 degrees in a lot of Japan this week and these kids are expected to run about during the hottest part of the day... everyday.... with only flasks and flasks of green tea to hydrate them.  Keep up the good work 日本.  Here are some pictures of my turtles.  I took better ones but I forget to upload them.  You can't see the wonder of my new tank.  Also, I forgot to mention that catalyst in the writing of this post was an experience with a mukade in the shower.  I just started to wash my face when I felt a quick scuttle brush by my toes.  I absolutely collapsed and my whole body became nothing more than a shell of fear.  That was until I jumped backwards and nearly broke my bloody neck.  I killed it with boiling water and it made me angry enough to sit down at my desk.  Goodnight.
Both of them are now a lot bigger than the bridge.  
The dark one fits on top of that rock.  (Eire left, Alba right)
We bought a kid's pool to get them out in the sunshine.  
That's a tuna treat right there.  I bought them live shrimp to eat once.


Krampus said...

Cute turtles.

I've never had a mukade in my house (knock on wood) but I think I would have a heart attack if I saw one in the shower. I sometimes lose my fake eyelashes around the house and see them and my heart skips a beat though...

They're giving out salt candy to combat dehydration at my school (our sports day is tomorrow). That's not how it works folks. Also I never see anyone drink water, and I go through about 2-3 liters just from 9-5 without thinking about it!

Anonymous said...

Your turtles are so cute. What a sweet story. But why do foreigners in Japan all have beards?

Almiraz said...


Since you are a teacher in Japan,you might like this..'English Teachers Web Comedy' available at

Ahoy hoy said...

Haha why do foreigners have beards in Japan? Recently anything I grow is because I'm lazy and the mirror steams up in my shower. I think a few grow it because they're abroad and can't get made fun of by their friends.

I saw that web comic before. My favourite one was all the townspeople knowing where you live.

I've had that salt candy before. Surely someone made it by mistake originally?

Chrbs said...

Mukade bites can cause Korsakoff syndrome y'know, which is usually associated with severe alcoholism. Bye bye memory

Related Posts with Thumbnails

About Me

I am a 24 year old Scotsman currently teaching English to Japanese schoolchildren. I live in a small town on the east coast of Kochi prefecture.