Hello. I'll write a proper entry tomorrow but for now I would like to share with you all the search engine entries that make strangers turn up here:

From Los Angeles: Watto izu rabu

I am quite proud of this one and it influenced me to start this entry. It's good to see that my mild mocking of katakana English has had such a profound effect on the internet. I like to think that a young Japanese girl moved to America and is disillusioned with foreign men. Thus she enters her broken English into google and ends up seeing my bearded mug staring at her.

From Miami: How good is stuff in Japan?

This is another favourite of mine that only appeared yesterday. I like to think of some pot head in Florida having an argument with his flatmate over "how good stuff is". I think this particular argument kicked off after they watched Karate Kid whilst eating cookie dough... I heard that's what those American types do. Bonus points: The search linked to my post about the abandoned restaurant in Muroto.

From Louisianna: My life in Japam

Japam sounds like some sort of delicious ham. I hope there is something called Japam.

From Miami: Japanese men in their 40s complain too much

Another classic from Florida here. I like how there is not even a question being asked here. I like to think that the stoner from earlier found a Japanese man and tried asking him how good his stuff was. The man was then irritated because he was a fourth generation Korean. I don't remember making any post that would link that search to me. Japanese men in their 40s like drinking bitter canned coffee and smoking weak cigarettes. I complain more.

From Hamilton in my very own Scotland: Domo arigato mr roboto stupid jap

Good to see that the racism towards Japanese people spreads to all my fellow countrymen. I have no idea how such a search appeared by someone from Scotland. Did they see the music video for the song? Did they somehow blame a Japanese person for it? Were they shocked to see a Scottish flag on my blog? Stupid Jock!

From London: Cantona sardines in Japanese

This links to a post where I praised the genius of former Manchester United player Eric Cantona. I'm afraid I don't know the translation of his famous sardines quotes.

From Glasgow: Watermount Hotel

This is great. If you put this Glasgow hotel into google then my blog is about the 5th link on the list. All because I wrote Glasgow, Mount Fuji and Water in one post. Take that you dirty Scot.

From America: Shikoku teaching BAD not fun boring miserable

This one made me laugh for ages. I especially like the use of capitals for bad. Oh the rage that must be flowing from their time on this mountanious, isolated island of despair. I love Shikoku, it's great.

Depressed Americans: I hate my life in Japanese, Death and honor in Japanese and I would die for you in Japanese

Sorry lads... my Japanese is weak. I could order us some beers... might steer you away from all that death talk.

I get about 3 searches a day looking for "Irishman, Scotsman... Chineseman... Welshman"

I wrote one of these 'jokes' a few weeks back. I wish I made it funnier now... people might actually have used my joke.

My favourite this year was "popular people in Japan" which linked to this painting of Noah and I.

I noticed last year that a lot of people from South-East Asia (especially Bangkok) kept on searching for "Japanese whose". There was me thinking I was helping them with their Japanese studies. Then I noticed a few were searching for specific "Japanese office/nurse/police whose" and something clicked. Add an extra 'r' into those searches and you'll see what they were after. Sorry lads.

Honourable mention

Last year some poor American lad had typed this into google for some reason:

" jap girls are evil break heart slut depressed revenge "

I looked on google and my blog didn't appear until about the 27th page of the results. Did he sit there all day hoping to find someone with similar despair?

p.s Japanese people apparently love searching "stupid gaijin". I'll make some more for you Nihonjins out there.

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Update: Someone was looking for "Take That December Glasgow" yesterday and landed on this entry. Take That are a terrible boy band from the 90s that have recently reformed.