I have played too much football on my Xbox today. Every since I was a kid I've had the urge to throw the controller when something goes wrong in a computer game. I used to play a game on the old Amiga called 'Sensible Soccer' in about 1993. It's still the best football game I've played but the computer used to cheat and I'd get frustrated. One vivid memory I have is spending about two hours guiding Scotland to the World Cup final. I was winning 1-0 and the game was about to end. I had the ball in the opposition's half as the last minute was ticking away and my victory looked secure. This was until the ball broke loose and rolled over the halfway line only for a German player to HUMP the ball 50 yards towards my goal. "No no no no WHY ARE YOU OFF YOUR LINE KEEPER... " I screamed as the ball went crashing into the back of the net.



I picked up my joystick and launched it at the wall, instantly regretting the decision the moment it left my hand. It smashed off the wall and fell apart before it even hit the ground. As I stood there feeling like an ejjit I could hear my mum approaching the room, fully aware of what I had just done and ready to lecture me. "Well, if that's the way you treat your toys then you just won't get another one" announced my mother as Germany kicked off the first period of extra time and scored almost immediately. These days I just about manage to repress the rage through fear of breaking my toys.

I'm going to pick up the topic of memories tomorrow when I write a bigger post. Recently I've been remembering lots of memories from my childhood and most of them are quite random. I've also been remembering a lot of German.




I hate having to call football 'soccer' as well. Even back in 1993 it used to irritate the hell out of me. I can just about bring myself to say the katakana (sakka) for it when I'm talking to Japanese people. My main argument is that people hardly every use their feet in American football. They're too busy hugging the ball like the big padded women they are. I watched the last Superbowl with my brother a few months ago. When I wasn't watching endless adverts I witnessed the ball being kicked about twice.

I really miss watching the football on television. It's like losing a limb. I always check the football match reports on Monday morning but you just can't get the same feeling. I've streamed some matches over the internet but they're pretty dire and always freeze when someone is about to take a shot. Also, for some reason I remembered Eric Cantona's goal against Liverpool in the 1996 FA Cup Final and looked it up on youtube.



I think he's my favourite ever football player because "When the seagulls follow the trawler, it's because they think sardines will be thrown in to the sea."

One last gem of a story before I leave. I went to the supermarket earlier this evening as one does. As I was leaving the checkout this old man in a scooter/buggy thing was heading to the exit as the same time as me. He noticed me right away and had a good stare at the town foreigner as everyone tends to do. Unfortunately, he didn't keep his eyes on the aisle and ploughed straight into a stand of New Year rice cakes. I witnessed the whole thing unfold before me but I couldn't do anything to prevent it. Infact, I found it extremely funny but had to contain my laughter and go help out. This set off one of those horrible reactions where you know you can't laugh so the pressure builds up until you think you might die. I had an exceptionally good laugh when the coast was clear however. Ach aye, laughing at old people's buggy skills on a Saturday night in the middle of nowhere in Japan. Good times.